It has been a year after my last breakup and yes, I have definitely moved on. I just thought of writing something about it now than write about it during that dark state of nonsense. Many people have asked me what I did in order to recover in such a short span of time. It is hard and saddening but a part of me is looking forward to the day when I would finally share my heart and my life with someone again. I got my hands busy, my feet busy and my mind very busy until it hurts no more. My only option is to be happy and I have to really move on to be in that state of bliss. It was drastic because I really moved on literally. I went abroad and have gone to different places to experience a fresh, new ambiance that I so fully deserved.
Apparently, I do not regret the fact that I ended it because it made me stronger and it definitely freed me from the cage of I-don't-know-what-will-happen-to-us state. I would not say it made me better because back then, I think I am a terrible freak who would easily get affected when something bad happens. So, it is safe to say that I am a good person now. But yeah, I think it made me a better person because now, I have a better understanding of why all these things happened. Back then, I was seeing things vaguely and even if I was able to see that I should be better off without him, I chose to stay with him because of his pleading. I tell you, it is not worth it. So better break up now that you are still floating in the water before you sink and could not get up because you have drowned already.
Moreover, I think we should see the good part about breaking up with someone especially if the relationship is futile. After so much concerted effort from both parties and nothing worked, a breakup is a good decision. I have a life and that other individual has a life, too. I like us to have the best life we could have by giving each other the chance of living our lives on our own, by becoming the best persons we could be. I did not give in when he asked for another chance, since we always have chances to prove ourselves that time when we were still in that relationship. Seven years are long years where we could definitely try and give chances to each other so why would I risk another day, week, month or year just to see if this time it will work out? Since I already gave many chances without counting, it is just best not to give him a chance again but to give myself a chance this time. I have to give myself the chance of feeling love and being taken cared of and not being taken for granted. I may be hurt, yes, but I do not consider myself broken. My heart may be badly bruised and was in ICU for many years but I have recovered my heart. Luckily, I did not need a heart transplant for that.
No offense meant for other people who gave many chances and ended up happily in each other's arms, again. I am glad that for them it worked out well but I don't think I can endure another year of agony and misery just because of giving our relationship a chance. It could also mean that the same course of events could happen again or even worse! I do not want to get to the point where I would hate myself because I prolonged a useless relationship. I realized that people come to our lives not just to love us but to teach us a lesson. And, I have learned my lesson the hard way. Now, you have a choice. Would you dare to end a bad relationship or endure it for the rest of your life? You decide.
